Anxiety

There are so many things that I should be doing.  Getting ready for Grace's swim meet, laundry, cleaning, taking out the trash.... But instead I am so anxious I am almost paralyzed.  I am anxious for Grace to swim tonight, she hasn't practiced all week.  She has been to VBS instead, which she has loved.  But mostly I am anxious for Monday.  The fear of the unknown can be awful.  Logically I know it is just a test, that she has had a cath before, she has been sedated before and come out clear and that this time next week she will be off of all restrictions, probably even able to take a bath.  But instead I am up until way past midnight, what iffing.  I pray every chance I have, I worry all the time and still life keeps trucking.  I want it to be June 14th already.  I want it to be over just as much as I want it not to happen.  We don't know what time to be there yet, they will let us know Friday.  I have to pack an overnight bag in case we have to stay.  We have to make arrangements for Grace to have things to do next week.  I don't even know what happens after.  Where do we go for our check up visit, when do we have to do that?  I cry for unknown reasons, I can feel the anxiety in my heart.  I am writing in hope to alleviate some of the anxiety.  Oh well, time to pack the bags for tonight.  I hope Grace does OK and is not too tired to perform at her best.

TTFN