It is so wonderful to have great friends. This week I found out just how wonderful they are. I was 12 weeks pregnant when I started to spot. My best friend dropped everything to help Tom and I. She came to school for Lily, cause of course I was at work. She had cupcakes with Lily's class because Lily will turn 2 next week and brought her home to Daddy. She brought us dinner of Spaghetti and Meatballs and bread and ice cream. She hugged me as I cried, she prayed for me when I couldn't pray. She took my children from me at 6:30 and got them to school and home again while I went to the hospital.
You see we lost the baby, it seems a few weeks ago. My body just didn't want to let go. The stress of Lily having strep, Grace having some unnamed illness and the lack of a dishwasher started the process so that I would go to the doctor to get help. This morning I had the dreaded D&C. So now I can say that I have been through infertility 3 times, a missed miscarriage and a late term loss. I can also say I lived through my 4 month olds open heart surgery that she almost crashed on the table. I have had more surgeries than most 80 year olds. My faith has been tested way too much. That is why I am writing here, to get myself back.
I will be on many, many meds for the next couple of weeks. I will have to go back to the OB/GYN in 3 weeks. And I will one day have to explain to my girls everything. Right now they are told mommy is sick and can't pick them up. I think Grace knows something more, but she isn't asking me. Lily will be confused as to why I am not picking her up or going swimming. Luckily they are both very loving and will let me cuddle them up.
Tonight my other best friend is bringing another yummy dinner and I can't wait to hug her too. She offered to drop her kids in the car and come to the doctor with me yesterday. The offer was great but I think I was able to better deal with my emotions alone. Yes, I got crazy looks at the office, in the halls and even driving, but what do I care. She also prayed for me when I couldn't.
Tomorrow we pack for a healing trip. It was supposed to be a celebration trip, but we adapt. My prayer right now is for a peace in my heart. I already feel surrounded by God's love with all the wonderful people he has placed in our lives. May they be blessed and know that we love them with all of our broken battered hearts.
Thankful In Florida
4 years ago
3 comments:
Sarah I'm sooo sorry for your loss, illness and heartache. What a truely moving blog and reminded me of the miscarriage I had between Emma and Reece. About 9 weeks that time, and when I look at the other two kids, I almost forget that happened and then your words bring it all back. Your girls are more important now than ever. God blessed you with a loving husband, supportive family and friends and 2 beautiful daughters. Grieve for the loss, but take solace in your gifts as well. When you hear them laugh or see them smile, smile too and give them extra hugs and kisses. And know that a little angel is always watching over you from Heaven.
much love, Jackie
Sarah, I had no idea! I can not begin to tell you how sorry I am. I feel your pain and sorrow all over my being. I wish I could take the hurt from you. Although, you already know this,it is my job to remind you once again how blessed you are to have those 2 precious girls. And how blessed they are to have you. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. All my love,
Paula
Praying for you during your loss. I'm so very sorry.
~Erica
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